NEW YEARS RESOLUTION

New Years resolutions are funny. People vow to loose weight, stop drinking, eat right… All things that sound good January one and go out the window by the first weekend.

I told myself last New Years that 2013 would be my come back year. A year to turn tragedy into triumph. A year to rebuild myself. So I built a house, opened a store, raised $100,000 for Fighting Fancy and most importantly I was declared Cancer Free.

2013 was successful. check.

I’m so thankful and blessed for the year I had, however this year my resolution remains the opposite of last year. Instead of a come back, I want to “go back.” Last year, I was so focused on proving I was more than my cancer that I lost a bit of myself in the process. I let some important friendships get away from me, neglected my healthy lifestyle, let deadlines pass and the store I always dreamed of became just another item on my long list of to dos for the day. I spread myself too thin. Lost the personal touch of those reaching out to Fighting Fancy and started looking at design jobs as a burden instead of my passion.

Everyday, people ask me how I’m doing. My answer is always, “good, busy. Stressed.” I don’t want to be that person. I want to make this year not about cancer and how it’s effected me, but how I’m going to be the person I was before cancer. Still determined and passionate but instead of feeling like I have to take on every opportunity, I’m going to grow the ones I have before me and enjoy the ride.

No change happens overnight so forgive me when I tell you how busy I am. Just know, I’m working on it. Friends and family, be patient with me. I know you are all ready for me to not bring up cancer on a daily basis but I’m just not there yet. Not a minute goes by that I don’t think about it. The way I look, the way I feel, the hot flashes, the daily chemo…all reminders of where I have been the last two years. I promise the word “cancer” won’t always be a part of my daily vocabulary. But for now, I am working on it.

This year I’m working on me. Not a new version but finding the old one I loved so many things about. Simple old Heather. She is still there, just have to find her.

Cheers to 2014 and to just being ourselves!

Xoxo

Heather

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About georgiajames

Business girl. Designer. Artist. Wife. You can find me in my studio, driving all over town, or at home with my dogs -- always with my phone in hand. Also addicted to blogs, photography, diet coke, and making things happen.
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7 Responses to NEW YEARS RESOLUTION

  1. Jenny says:

    This is perfect

  2. Erica says:

    You know, Heather, I couldn’t WAIT to put cancer behind me when I was in treatment. I envisioned everything going back to the way things were-I craved “normal” so badly. I think I had an unrealistic expectation of how when things were done, they would be done…no more cancer. But we both have found out that it doesn’t happen quite that easily.

    It has been 5 years since my diagnosis and 4 years since treatment ended, and I’m no where near close to “normal.” At least not the old normal. I’m learning still every day to adjust and cope with life after cancer. Some days are better than others but some days it’s overwhelming. And some days are GREAT. Sometimes I feel like nobody understands the constant back and forth battle we have going on in our own heads…so while I’m not glad that we have to share this sisterhood, I am glad to know that I’m not alone.

    I wrote about what I call my own PTSD on my blog back in September at my 5 year mark. I seriously think that’s what I’m suffering from. It sucks-cancer sucks-but I have to remember and refocus on my blessings when there are days that get me down. Hang in there, sistah…we will get through this, one day at a time.

    Sending love to you:)
    Mark 5:36
    Jeremiah 29:11

  3. Beth Mason says:

    What a post. awesome

    (Note:All typos are iPhones fault)

    >

  4. Emily cobb says:

    I think you are pretty bad ass version of who you are now. Amazing might better describe you!!! From what, I have seen Heather, you walk through life with complete grace.
    I get a lot of what you are saying, but cut yourself some slack !!!!Going back to the basics and re-evaluating is always of importance. We don’t often find ourselves or what’s important to us with out getting lost for awhile .
    You had cancer. You did not and have not let it define you!!! Whether you like it or other people like it, it will always be a huge part of who you are because it was apart of your journey. Most importantly you KILLED it!!!! Kinda like the whole year of 2013!!!
    It does not define you. It may have shook you and I’m sure still haunts you, but it seems to me , it lit a very important fire in you. You may not have accomplished half of the incredible things you have in such a short time, touched so many and made such a huge impact had this not happened to you.
    Looking back to find the parts of us that we feel are lost is good. A little self reflection can sometimes be the best medicine. It seems to me you are a pretty incredible person. You have 100% touched my life. I feel lucky to know you and to be able to call you my friend.

    So from a friend, listen….how about you take this year to do whatever Heather wants…focus on what makes you most happy, tell people no, let things just fall where they may, sit back, relax, enjoy what you have, revel in what you have accomplished, rekindle relationships that are of most importance to you, and enjoy where ever this year takes you.

    Don’t sweat making some huge mark on something/ or making some life altering move, if you don’t want to this year… You kinda have already done that… More so than most people do in their lifetime!!! Take a break… But keep being you… The old you, the last years, you, the 2014 version of you. Whoever you chose from what I have seen and I know it will be amazing :)

  5. Pat My-S-Cap says:

    Emily, what beautiful advice! Heather take time to smell the roses. You are loved by so many. Here’s to a 2014!

  6. Martha Thomas says:

    Bless you and your 2014 year ahead. I’m going to strive to be a better person to all and especially to my 10 year old granddaughter (whom I’m raising). Your inspirational words are so positive and I’m trying my best to do things differently & better. Prayers to you. Martha & Alexia.

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